Maria Konner Interview concludes. Series by Jen Bush

Maria is known as one of the most unique performance artists.  She incorporates different aspects of her life and her lifestyle into her art creating novel performance pieces.  Her fascinating novel, “Girl Shock! I dressed as a girl for Halloween and then she took over my life!” is being turned into a musical.  Maria will be wearing all the fashionable hats of creating the musical and performing in it.

“A lot of what I’m doing right now is focused on the book I wrote about my journey from straight to trans and am now producing an original musical based on the book. I’m diving into lifestyle and sexuality topics that most people haven’t experienced and/or don’t understand – much of it regarding the differences between being a man vs. woman.  Trans woman in my case, but by living on both the cis and trans side of things, I have learned so much about the different lifestyles and attitudes of cis men and woman plus trans women and much about lesbians, gay men, trans men, and other variations.  I spent 15 years as an entertainer in San Francisco (and moved to NYC in June 2022 after 28 years in San Francisco / Bay Area), and living in the underground San Francisco world, occasionally traveling to other cities and performing.  I certainly don’t have all the perspectives on the various genders and variations, but more than most for sure!”

“And I’m lucky in that I can bring this to the stage with original music/lyrics, playing the piano & guitar, singing, and being able to perform with other great NYC performers who compliment and augment what I’m doing. My musical playing style is very improvision based, so I’m very much focused on playing very emotionally and I’m able to mix my lifelong love of a variety of styles – jazz/blues, rock, metal, plus a showtunes flair. I’m not huge into showtunes but love it in sort of a Paul McCartney way – I loved that he would bring in his love of the older styles of music from his father’s generation into many Beatles songs.  I love mixing the old and the new, the rock and the jazz.”

“I discovered that myself and many musicians find that their original songs that the audience often reacts the most positively to are the ones that are very personal and we are reluctant to perform.  This shows that audiences are really hungry for something real and personal.  And that’s what I do more than anything.”

Maria has fully embraced the womanly skin she’s in.  She comes with a unique perspective having lived life both as a man and a woman.  She sometimes must pivot back to the one she refers to as “Dude”.  Being Maria gives her greater visibility, validation and aligns more with her emotional essence.

“How do I like the skin I’m in?  SO much better than before!  And it’s not because I feel more like a woman or anything like that.  It has NOTHING to do with identity.  I’m allowed to express myself anyway I want!  When I was a man I was constantly ridiculed or marginalized for being too emotional, for caring too much, for being excited about new creative ideas. Not when I’m a woman! Also when I’m a man, I’m invisible.  Certainly not when I’m Maria!  It really is absurd how SO MUCH of who we are just isn’t seen if it doesn’t have an alluring veneer.  We all know that, but I directly experience that ALL THE TIME!…..when I switch back and forth between Maria and Dude. I’m constantly reminded of the differences between who we are on the inside and who we are on the outside.”

Maria loves to wear women’s clothes.  She’s a barrel of laughs when she’s socializing.  She has great admiration for trans people.  TRANSlation…she’s trans and she’s A-OK with that!

“Yes I’m trans, but not because I ever felt trans or needed to be trans.  But because people like me better when I’m a woman.  Which makes me have a good time when I’m out, which makes me attract people…and results in a positive reinforcement. Plus, women’s clothes are much more fun than men’s clothes! So I guess I’m trans….”

“The subtitle of my book (which is now a musical) pretty much describes it: “I Dressed as a Girl for Halloween and then She Took Over My Life”. I’m a product of Social Darwinism.  Given who I am, what I want, and what skills I have, this is what works for me.  And, well, trans is the closest single keyword match I can find out there.”

“And also, I have always admired trans people, starting from the first trans women I saw in London when I was around 10 years old.  They are not boring!  They are courageous, creative, motivated. How could you not respect and admire somebody like that?”

When parting ways with a huge aspect of your life, there might be some things that will be missed.  Maria is very at peace with the lifestyle she currently lives and loves.

“I do miss the dream of the house with the kids, and hearing frogs and crickets in my backyard.  Cooking dinner with the family.  Coming home to a family. Romantic walks and making love to a woman.”

“But that was all a dream because it never happened for me other than a few bad relationships and just an adequate amount of cis sex.  Still don’t know why.  Well I have theories….which I wrote about in the book!”

“So I don’t really miss that because I don’t miss the agony of straight dating.  The disappointments, the wasted time, the pain. Living for a dream. In my experience, straight dating was fighting with a culture virus embedded deep within us every day, I couldn’t be part of that.  Life is too precious and divine to waste our time on somebody else’s program.”

“And now that I’m in NYC, I’ve been thinking, we spend the first part of our lives trying to get somewhere, and then when we finally get there, we have to get used to BEING there. I’m working on that.”

Maria is on a mission to spread joy through entertainment and music.  It’s a joyful thing to be doing what you love with likeminded individuals.  Music is a powerful elixir and Maria has bottles to spare. 

“I want to create live shows that inspire, uplift, inform….and entertain.  The joy of life is bringing joy to others.  I know it might sound like a cliché, but it’s true, especially if you have the opportunity to do that regularly. I am so fortunate to be living in NYC. I would love to be able to quit my regular job and focus on this”.

“I love playing with other musicians, but I especially cherish teaching young children and young adults piano or guitar. (I done a little bit of that).  The most important lesson to teach is the joy of music, and so many teachers completely miss that Prime Directive.  And this is also one of the most important lessons in life….joy in being with people and interacting..and that’s a big part of what music is about.  I also particularly love playing with musicians who are new to performing live and are just head over heels about being able to play with musicians who can show them a few things.  I learned a lot that way when I was younger. It makes me feel the cycle of life.”

We are days away from Pride Month in NYC.  The LGBTQ community continues to make strides.  Maria has some sound things to say on where she feels things stand.

“There are so many things to consider here, and so many people are doings gods’ work, it’s hard to really say.  But it’s a really good question.  What appears to be missing (regardless of the cause) is a strong feeling of leadership that spans the spectrum.  LGBTQ is such a broad and complex community, especially because there is a huge number of people who are in the gray area, possibly more than not.  So there is a lot of fear and thus it is used for political manipulation – one of the oldest tricks in the book.  And many of us are surprised at just how readily people fall for the grift in mass or are willing to use it for their own selfish needs without even being aware of their own behavior and what is really motivated them (e.g. depression, anxiety, a feeling of being invisible).”

“And political manipulations are dividing the LGBTQ community or turning us against each other.  A lot of people take extreme positions on topics in order to get attention in our social media universe.  Not only does this divide us, but it creates a lot of harm, as people weaponize a few bad experiences against a whole class of people, for their own purposes.” 

“So I would like to see an increasing shift to a positive attitude, and us not getting caught on the negative energy social media hamster wheel that often will increase the power of a platform and an extreme group at the expense of other people.  How do we create a shift with more positive leadership that doesn’t have to resort to the old trick of creating constant outrage to get attention?  The $64K question!  Well, I’m doing my part with art.”

Maria recognizes the power of good storytelling.  It has the capability to change people’s perceptions of cultures and communities.  We wondered how important Maria felt the live arts were in changing these perceptions.

“Enormous!  But you can’t prove it.  Nor can you prove the opposite – that certain leader’s behavior is encouraging so many of us to slip down the path to the Dark Side.”

“As we learned in “The Game Of Thrones” final episode, it’s stories that are the most powerful and last for generations – not armies, political systems, etc.”

“And I think about one of the most important stories in my own life. I was trying to describe to people what I learned in several months spending time in Jerusalem with my ex-wife’s family doing the spiritual thing.  It all boiled down to this:

There are two types of Jews: Cool people and assholes

There are two types of Christians: Cool people and assholes

There are two types of Muslims: Cool people and assholes.”

“We will have to create some powerful uplifting stories to undo the harm century old stories have done to us.”

Where will Maria be in 5 years…10 years…tomorrow?  She’ll be having fun in the sun while creating compelling art. 

I’ll be spending more time in the sun. Maria used to be a vampire.  I would only go out at night.  I still work as a man …although I’m 100% remote now, so I can be a woman 99% of the time during work if I wanted to be.  But I really don’t want to work in my current profession (Tech) as a woman.  I want to spend increasingly more time being out there during the day being around people, and hopefully earn a living doing something I really care about.  (I used to care about Tech, but not anymore).  I don’t know if I’ll ever be a full-time woman, but I want the option to follow the roads that open before me.  Where will I be tomorrow?  Spending more time in the sun than the day before.

This concludes our whopping three-part interview with Maria Konner.  We thank her for the time she took to provide us with such wonderful and comprehensive answers.  Read “Girl Shock” then see the musical when it comes out.  Catch one of Maria’s live shows and you’ll be oh so entertained.  We know a girl named Maria and we like her a lot.  Get to know her.  You’ll be happy you did.

More at https://www.mariakonner.com/