Away in an alleyway with cots for beds, preteens and teens gather to spread the joy of the holiday season next to garbage cans and towering chain link fences decorated with Christmas lights. The youth invite listeners to gather around to celebrate the holiday—except it’s not Christmas or even the New Year that’s being celebrated—instead, this cold winter’s night is the perfect time to attend the life story of the one, the only, L. Ron Hubbard.

At first, the audience of A Very Merry Unauthorized Scientology Children’s Pageant might not be sure what they’re in store for—are they witnessing a criticism or celebration of the religion founded by Hubbard and practiced by some of the most famous celebrities in Hollywood?
While it is decidedly not a celebration, the story painted by children in catchy songs and surprisingly adept and witty dialogue is more than a simple criticism. Hubbard’s life is approached graciously, with respect to the conundrum of the human experience (the age-old question “Why are we here?” that mankind is prone to existentially ponder), which Hubbard sought to answer through philosophical pilgrimages and scientific exploration. But the pageant takes a decidedly different turn when Hubbard’s personal revelations about the ill and evils of life are transformed into a capitalistic and predatory religion.
The musical is a truly American art form and a fitting way to explore a truly American religion and cult. Song helps the audience both connect with Hubbard as a human being and become increasingly uneasy as his quest for answers begins to take advantage of those at their lowest and most vulnerable points in their lives.
This show does not talk down to its audience, nor does it shame those who decided to follow Hubbard’s religion. The music is catchy and the performances incredible, which is particularly worth noting as these performers are all very young—to hear ten-year-olds completely saturate their language in cheeky satire speaks to their deep understanding of the material. The pageant reminds the audience of the dangers of group thinking and how easily goodwill can turn into manipulation, which is a holiday story that transcends the season to become a new classic.